When I was finishing chemo, I was given Ambien to help me sleep. It didn't work, but the side effects of 'violent and suicidal thoughts' sure did.I don't think I've ever really talked about this publicly, but reading about Chris Cornell's death and what his wife is saying about his taking Ativan, which is some powerful stuff made me see the connection.
Read MoreTCAF Ambassador John Armijo shares his perspective of getting his life back after testicular cancer through his movie work, and on recovering from the extreme fatigue, neuropathy, and PTSD that followed chemotherapy. "In my quickly-going-insane mind, I had already died and was in Hell. I couldn't leave the house due to low immunities and had lost everything in my mind, from the ability to sleep and eat, and now my sanity was next on the checklist before I ultimately lost my life. A bit exaggerated in retrospect, but very real to me at the time."
Read MoreThe day after each scan, I breathe a sigh of relief, pat myself on the back for dodging the bullet yet again, then put my blinders on and resume living. But, I also flip the hourglass over again and push it to the back of my mind. Knowing that while I can bury all the fears FOR NOW, in a few months time I'll have to stare down that barrel again.
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